I've tried to avoid writing on this subject it's like religion and politics you never know who's feathers it's gonna ruffle but I've held off enough. I'd like to think there comes a time in ones life that they will be able to meet people and get to know them and decide rather quickly what works for you and what doesn't. As I get older and dare I say wiser I realize that just isn't the case. I see more and more people of all ages stuck in relationships they don't wanna be in. They use all different things to tie them to that person some say kids other say financial stresses, some are just comfortable, some are clinging to the hope that someday their frog will turn into "Prince Charming". I'm no relationship expert first let me say that but I think a few things are important when entering in a relationship and while in a relationship. The first is honesty. Cliche? I know though you would be surprised how many relationships are lacking just that. Being honest about who you are and being honest about who your partner is. You need to be honest about what your expectations are and what your understanding of your partner or partner to be expectations are. If you are you unable to be honest about what you want or your comfortability with what your told your going to receive then don't enter into that relationship. People make the mistake of thinking they're going to change people I applaud you for your optimism but if he says he is looking to just f*ck and be friends 9/10 he is looking for just that. No matter how good your loving is it more than likely wont change.
The second thing that is important is when things aren't working and you know you have given your all don't stay in that relationship. It's okay to admit that things aren't working. Your kids won't love you any less for those of us that use the kids as the excuse to stay in the relationship. It hurts the kids more when you stay and argue all the time in from of them. Kids are getting smarter and smarter and even if you think your doing a good job of masking that something isn't right with mommy and daddy sorry to break it to you but they know. If your excuse is your financial situation it's just that an excuse if you really want to be out of a situation you will do what you have to do to take care of yourself. Staying with someone because you feel that your insufficient all on your own isn't healthy for you or them. Then the biggest of them all "comfortability". If your afraid of being alone and your in a relationship where your alone anyway how much sense does that make? Love is a beautiful thing. We don't enter into a relationships expecting for it not to work out unfortunately sometimes it doesn't. Life is short, the quicker we realize what doesn't work and the quicker we rid our lives of toxicity the happier we will be. It won't be easy we all have feelings and sometimes we have so much invested in these relationship years of our life, children, money, and other assets. You have to think about if those things are worth your happiness. If the answer is no then walk away don't waste anymore of your time. I'm not saying you need to make and enemy out of your X. I'm not saying you should be bitter either.The sooner you rid yourself from it the quicker you can move on there is so much life out there. Why would you wanna waste that being unhappy? Some of us think a relationship defines us. Some of us work so hard trying to be a couple we lose sight of our single self. Never lose sight of who you are. Know that you are enough.
Again cliche.... But the most important relationship is the one with yourself. Love yourself know your worth. Nobody can treat you or make you feel anything you don't let them. Self esteem is important. Spend time with yourself get to know yourself. Really try and understand your needs and wants. Then and only then will you be able to communicate those things to a partner. Who knows you might find or already have " the one" and if that's the case send me the invite to the wedding. I love a good reason to buy a new dress!!!